I was born into the church, but when I was 12 I let seeds of anger and doubt take root and grow inside. Within a few short years I was a changed person, and not for the better. I let that continue to bring my life to places I never thought I would go. I let very strong emotions like: fear, doubt, anger, scared, lonely, embarrassment literally control my choices in my life; and the only person that keeps you feeling that way is 1 yourself and 2 Satan. The Lord wants nothing more than to take those feelings away from you.
I have had many amazing spiritual opportunities, that looking back on it now I can realize they were just unbelievable. But I would not hear or see or feel them at the time, and my favorite lie to tell myself whenever I would have a feeling that the church was making an impact I would simply tell myself "ya but I don't know that it's true" and that was always enough for me to just turn away and forget it ever happened. The only thing that would make that turn faster is if someone was there that pointed out that the was spirit present. I was scared of what that would mean for my life, because embracing the gospel would have meant a complete change of my life. Everything in my life would not have fit in the gospel. Friends, hobbies, girlfriend, thoughts, feelings, and as a teenager who already feels that simple things like having a bad hair day means the next six months of life are ruined. I was not ready for the gospel and I didn't want to keep having questions. So going to places like BYU ED Week, to listen to speakers like John Bytheway and Scott Anderson, and mutual activities and church on Sundays was now out of the question. SO I RAN, AND RAN FAST.